Is Obsessive Focus and Balance Possible?

In the last couple of months, I have had a question on my mind. Can we balance obsessive focus and life? Last year I read two books about two different people in two different periods. However, they did have some things in common, and in this article, I explore a little bit of their lives and what I learned from them on how to balance obsessive focus and life.

Phil Knight and Eunice Hunton Carter

We all know who Phil Knight is, the man who brought us Nike. In November 2021, I finished his memoir and something stood out to me. Knight was obsessed with winning. It overrode his insecurities sometimes but also added to them. He missed out on time with family sometimes chasing this obsession to win and sadly, I think he missed out on just giving himself time to reflect at the moment. He missed out on some of the joy of what he was building. His obsession led to an intense focus on growing and building Nike. He stated,

Let everyone else call your idea crazy. . . just keep going. Don't stop. Don't even think about stopping until you get there, and don't give much thought to where “there" is. Whatever comes, just don't stop.

Years of stress and grind led to one of the most successful sports apparel companies in the world, but is that how life should be?

Another book I finished in November 2021 was a biography of Eunice Hunton Carter, an African American female attorney in the 1930s. Her job prospects were slim but she was determined to be successful. Her race and gender limited her upward mobility but still she pushed forward. I believe her ambition was an obsession. The author states,

It would be wrong to draw from Eunice's story the conclusion that she was unusually envious or thought only of herself. Rather, she was ambitious at a time and in fields where there were few possibilities for a colored woman to shine. And before we decide that she was too ambitious, we must ask ourselves whether if Eunice had been white and male and had the same résumé, she would not have gone further in her career. If our answer is even a tentative yes, then to criticize her for ambition amounts to little more than demanding that she stay in her place.

While Carter didn't completely reach the heights of success she wanted, she pushed farther than many women of her time. But raised her son the same way she was raised and she missed out on a lot of her son's life.

Lessons Learned

From Carter and Knight, I learned three things that I think will help me stay balanced but continue to push toward what I consider success.

1. A season of obsessive focus is beneficial, but time for rest is also important in any season

America sells this dream of going to college and graduating with a good job. What we don't talk about is that for most people, that is not the route. America also has been selling the dream of entrepreneurship and becoming a self-made millionaire. In neither of these situations do they talk about the work. Yes, America has a "grind to make it" attitude, but seeing it on social media and doing it is totally different. I've come to believe that in your 20s and even 30s, obsessive focus is necessary to set the foundation of whatever those dreams you are chasing. Obsessive focus on that foundation is beneficial for later in life. That isn't to say obsessive focus doesn't need breaks and rest. Take a day out of the week just to recharge.

2. Define success early

This could be subtitled "don't let social media define success." For me, material things don't determine if I am successful. Social media will have you believe you are behind in life. To me, success is being able to leave a legacy for my family and help other people. I want to support a non-profit that uses sports and education to change children's lives. Success for me isn't a bigger house. Don't get it twisted I like nice things. I like having my space. But material things don't make me successful. Define your success.

3. Take time to reflect

Both Carter and Knight missed out on enjoying the journey because they were so busy stuck in the season of obsessive focus. I said earlier that rest is important in any season, but that day of rest doesn't have to be the time you reflect. I've been trying to journal for years and it finally seems like this year it will stick. Why? Because I'm taking time to reflect on what I am grateful for, how I improved, and how I will continue to improve. This five-minute reflection in the morning gets me in the headspace to get things done. Sometimes I write about the ups and sometimes the downs but the 5 mins or so I take to reflect have an immense impact on my day.

Conclusion

Now I may be in a different season to you and that's why I didn't define obsessive focus. Yes, I used a businessman building a company and an ambitious female attorney as examples but we are all in different areas. For the last year and a half I haven't been in a season of obsessive focus but of learning, training, and experimenting, but I know a season of obsessive focus is coming that will lay the foundation down for the next few years. (Stay tuned to hear about this season) However, that may not be where you are. My best friend had a baby not too long ago and for months she was obsessively focused on caring for my goddaughter and learning her temperament. Everyone's obsessive focus may look different but they all build a foundation for the future. This week, think about what season you are in and if you need to obsessively focus on building that foundation for the future.